Do not share your problems with everyone. If a person is sweet tongued and sympathetic to you, it does not mean he or she is your well wisher.Dr Ujjwal Patni
Everybody faces some or other problem in his life, but some people tend to make even a small difficult seem very large, by worrying endlessly over them, while others may smilingly overcome bigger problems, but whether should we publicize these problems?
You generally confide in some people close to you, and after sharing your problems with them not to tell others. Without any delay, your confidants relay your problem to others, and in turn cautioning them to keep it to themselves. This is a chain reaction and process continuous.
I feel that whenever we request somebody ‘not to tell others’, that conversation spreads the fastest. Often, we choose the wrong people to share our problems. If we are tensed up with our boss in office, we confide in our immediate colleague. It is likely that very soon our grievances will reach the boss.
If you are upset with your wife, and you happen to share your plight with your friends who will surely sympathize with you, but may amuse themselves in your absence. Wives will share the grievances of their husband and in-laws with their friends, who will later spread it all over the town.
Therefore, if you have problems in your life , strike at them directly instead of telling people here and there. Have a “Guru” or “Mentor” in your life, in whom you will have the total trust. You may discreetly share your tensions with Him/Her.
Make a “Problem” friend
Once, Sanjay was in a bad mood. Amidst a busy schedule, he attended to many clients, and heated discussions with some people had upset him. Meanwhile, he had to drop his faithful servant Dinanath at his home, because he was unwell. In spite of his ill heath, Dinanath had worked hard throughout the day, so Sanjay felt obliged to him and drove him home.
On reaching his home, Dinanath requested Sanjay to have a cup of tea. As they entered the gate, Dinanath stopped near a small tree, uttered something, touched its leaves and walked inside his house with a smile on his face. The sick man appeared to be very happy. After entering his house, he talked lovingly to his wife and children, and offered tea to Sanjay.
While having tea, Sanjay curiously asked Dinanath what he was doing near the tree? Dinanath enthusiastically replied,”Sir, the tree is my name ‘Problem Friend‘. After the day’s work, I get tired and very tensed. If I go home with my problems. I will get upset with my wife and children.
So, before I enter my house, I deposit all my problems with my ‘Problem Friend‘, and collect it next morning. Similarly, if I have had any problems at home, instead of carrying these tensions to my workplace and spoiling the day, I deposit these problems with my ‘problem friend‘ before leaving for work.
Sanjay was amazed on hearing these pristine thoughts coming from his servant. The next moment, Sanjay had decided to make a ‘problem friend‘ for himself.
Not to take a decision is yet another problem
If you are unable to take a firm decision in solving a problem due to related fears, indecision or procrastination, then you are permitting the problem to magnify. With each passing day, the problem will become bigger, and attract new fears, rumors, which will add on to worsen the situation.
Remember, indecisiveness is also a problem. So an ever delay, except the circumstances when you think it is wiser not to take a decision in the spontaneity of the moment.
Does a problem really exist?
A power thinker always goes to the root of the problem. He analyses whether the problem really exists or is it simply emanating because of our inhibitions, or related fears in our mind, or because we could not rise to our expectations. When a power thinker examines a problem has already vanished.
Don’t be repeatedly unhappy over any issue
A comedian narrated a joke, on which people laughed a lot. After sometime, the comedian repeated the joke, but now only few people were heard laughing. He repeated the joke for the third time, and still fewer people laughed. But when the joke was repeated for the fourth time, not a single person laughed. Instead some people got agitated at hearing the same joke repeatedly.
The comedian had delivered had delivered an amazing message to the audience. He said, ‘friends, you were very happy to hear my joke for the first time and you could not contain your laughter, but when you heard the same joke for the fourth time, it failed to impress you, and make you laugh.
When a thing of joy fails in making you happy if repeated several times, then why does sorrow in life make you feel unhappy over again and again. When the happiness nullifies after sometime, why do you not forget the sorrows ?
Friends, we must not waste our energy in creating a life from misery and problems, because that is not possible. Instead, we must use our energy to come out of the dire situations.
On remembering a tragic incident in your life, if you had felt unhappy the whole day in the past, and now if you feel sorry only for few moments, then you have surely attained victory over your inner self.